WHAT IF
It's probably always been this way. We, self included,
are so quick to peg someone and give them labels.
Sometimes it's at first impressions
at other times it is after frustration with the individual.
They didn't do what we wanted and
we were happy to plant a label on them.
How often has a person been labeled 'critical', when in fact he/she is very adept at being a problem solver! Their brain works in such a way that they immediately see what needs doing; they are practical and rather than being 'judgmental', they are perceptive and decisive.
We probably get very defensive the minute they open their mouth.
What if instead we listened and heard them out?
Our parents raised us to be punctual, which meant we were to be thoughtful of other people's time. I cannot count the times I have been labeled 'rigid' because I believe in being early or punctual rather than late. Oh, I know that circumstances beyond our control can make any one of us late, but cultivating it as a habit is another thing. I've been told that some people have the need to be late;
this affirms to themselves their importance
by making everyone wait upon them.
by making everyone wait upon them.
Meetings should always start on time - even if folks will be late.
What if some of us learned patience?
What if others of us learned to be punctual?
The friends that I think are totally fun-loving, outgoing and free-spirited, others have labeled as silly, loud and irresponsible. I love their spontaneity and energy, it rubs off on me, but others whisper that they are so goofy, immature and hyper! I still remember a young wife who hated when the rest of us laughed at the quick wit her husband displayed; she wanted him to grow up! She couldn't see the natural joy of life that the rest of us saw
and wanted him not to embarrass her.
and wanted him not to embarrass her.
What if she was the one who needed to mature and chill a little?
So many other character traits come to mind.
What if we found a more positive label?
What if someone you have labeled a manipulator
is actually a skilled negotiator or go between?
What if the person is a friendly and great communicator,
but you think they talk too much?
What if you look down upon someone you see as a doormat,
when in fact they are very thoughtful
and know how to be accommodating,
and know how to be accommodating,
yet they still get their own work done excellently and efficiently?
What if you don't like what you perceive to be
a people pleaser or mushy,
a people pleaser or mushy,
when in fact they are sympathetic and compassionate?
What if to you he's a snob, so cool and aloof,
perhaps even boring,
perhaps even boring,
but I know that he is shy, calm, even-tempered,
private, philosophical and reserved?
private, philosophical and reserved?
I'm sure there must be those who impressed
you so highly at the outset and later,
you so highly at the outset and later,
as their true character revealed itself,
all you could feel for them was pity!
But, are there times when your first labels were wrong or unfair,
and you had to change your mind or even apologize,
once you understood the other person better?
Just something I've been mulling over lately......
What do you think?
Comments
You put it very well.
It's even harder with BLOG friends... We don't really know each other --other than through the words we use or read. Sometimes we may use 'labels' when thinking about our blog friends which are not true AT ALL...
I have an interesting blog coming up on Friday --talking about the WORDS we use while blogging.
About being punctual, when I was in churchwork for many years, I ALWAYS started my meetings on time.. People learned quickly to get there on time. I despise to go to meetings and wait for others to get there, and wait for the meeting to begin...
Hugs,
Betsy
Talk about being put in your place. You don't know what has happened in someone's life to cause them to act they war they are -
I like they way you put a positive spin on all those different characteristics. Sometimes we just are in a little hole - so worried about ourselves - it is easier to judge folks than to take the time and figure out exactly why they are the way they are.
Well written Karin.
Thank you!
I love a person with a sense of humor-it is one of characteristics I gravitate to in my relationships with others.
Thanks for makin' us stop and think next time we size someone up.
God bless and have yourself a marvelous day!!! :o)
I once heard that we are three people:
1. How we see ourselves;
2. How other people see us;
3. How we THINK other people see us.
None of these might be the same. And none of them at all might be how God Himself sees us!
I like your thoughts today - seeing the other side of what we label as "negative" traits in people.
And yes, I sometimes label people, but later on really get to know them and like them.
Great post.
Things are not always as they seem...and neither are people.
Love you,
Linda